BEST NEWS - All doctors expressed enthusiasm regarding the discovery that I have an EGFR mutation expressed in the cancer. I was switched immediately to a targeted oral chemotherapy called Tarceva (which was fully covered by my insurance - Thank You Dana). Tarceva is expected to reduce tumor size "significantly" and stop metastatic growth for about 1 year. Some patients can be kept on Tarceva for several years before moving to another targeted drug. Since EGFR is a known mutation, new drugs to prevent regrowth are already being tested. Still, there is a small chance that Tarceva won't work for me, or that side-effects will be intolerable. In 6 weeks I have a CT scan at the U of M to measure the effect of the drug.
I AM AFRAID TO BE EXCITED. It's as if my life was handed back... tentatively. How do I live this uncertain edge? Will I feel as alive as before? Could I possibly feel good enough, long enough, too forget that I am sick? Could I return to ignorance...or... a thoughtfully sober zest for renewed life! Am I bargaining here? There were so many thoughts and prayers sent this way, could this be my miracle? With too many unknowns I remain cautious, but my feet want to dance.
I am already dancing to THIS certainty:
- No more IV Chemo sessions
- No more fatigue and chemo "blah"
- Fewer medical appointments and procedures
- Having more energy to connect with those around me.
- Taking a break from the Keto diet and returning to fresh veggies
Craig and I talked about a future today, plans that started to reach beyond summer...