Death Cafe is a movement across the US and Europe, driven by young people who want to live more fully.  Those attending understand that fear of death, and avoidance of topics related to death, suffocates energy to live. Death Cafe is not about teaching or presenting, it is about listening to each person without judgment; it is a salon for expanding awareness, acceptance and energy toward life.

You can find more information at Death Cafe and from this Star Tribune article.

My reason for hosting a Death Cafe comes from my experience with the dying process.  Accepting that death was coming for me now, early in my life, was difficult to embrace. What I found more difficult was the anxiety and denial of those around me. People are good at heart and wanted to respond to my situation, but this mostly came to me through a filter of fear.  Prayers, bible verses, miracle cures, bugle calls to fight…this is what I got. I know each response came from a sincere place but with death staring me in the face, I wanted someone to look me in the eyes, hold my hand, ask me how it feels, and to listen intently.  Death seems to stir so much fear that people can’t be present with it.  It is reasonable that we will be caught off balance and fearful in response to rare catastrophic events – terrorism, plane crashes, tsunamis – but why with a common, 100% certain event like death? Dying is difficult, but the most difficult thing is feeling like you have to walk the entire path alone.

Now, three cheers for the human heart! I have had a marvelous year and many, many people have “come to the table”, we have shared meals, we have shared presence, and I have been asked many meaningful questions. We are designed to be connected, we feel better when connected, especially during the dying process. My blog has helped me connect and invite into my experience many loving and supportive people. Death Cafe is another way to prepare people to be present for the certain moment when death shows up for them or someone they love. For those of us preparing to leave, there is much joy in the celebration of love and a life well lived, but a celebration means that people need to have the courage to gather round and dance. 

Death Cafe - June 17th at 7pm
First Universalist Church
3400 Dupont Av. S
Minneapolis, MN  55408
Hosted by:
Rev. Justin Schroder 
Colleen McCann

I write to report that I am incredibly the happiest I've ever been. Doesn't that sound crazy! Perhaps it relates to the freedom I now have to move thoughtfully day to day, to spend more time in mediation and contemplation. I enjoy friends and simple things, not needing much. The good thing about a terminal diagnosis is that it keeps you in the present moment. Future plans and future thinking disappear, and this leaves me in the beautiful present. It may sound silly, but I feel a bit guilty knowing most of you are trudging off to work every day, and have family responsibilities too.

HEALTH UPDATE – I have been fairly healthy with limited pain. Recent scans showed that the cancer is moving slower than predicted. The doctor seemed pleased but befuddled.  I believe my “success” comes from a combo of happiness and cannabis oil, which I restarted once I began to progress. I will remain on the study drug (CO1686) until I progress a bit further. We are waiting for Nivolumab (Opdivo) to become FDA approved so I can switch to it as my final drug. NIvolumab will be a “Hail Mary” option for me (<20% success rate) but I am comfortable trying it because it is not chemotherapy, instead it is immunotherapy that (if it works) activates my own immune system to fight the cancer. With Nivolumab I will finally be free of chemo side effects and may recover some energy, and that would make me happy-er.

UPDATE   As you may know, I spent a few days in the hospital this week.  I wanted folks to know that I am feeling “more better”.  The Oncologist was willing to give us a straight answer, finally, 3 to 6 months. By body feel, I would say he was being a bit generous. My cancer is constantly with me, bear hugging my ribcage, making it harder to breathe and eat.  My days are up and down, spending more time in bed.  With the exception of my recent episode, my cancer has overall been gracious, setting me down gently into the God flow. My heart is at peace, friends by my side, precious time spent with my kids, reading books, meditating in the peaceful quiet, grateful for every day.