I have learned that I do not qualify for the Mayo Immunotherapy Clinical study :-(
I am waiting to see if I will qualify for other trials, which use targeted chemo. I should know by next week and I will update again at that time. I am not feeling grief or panic over my results. All of life my "luck" has been fantastic...I got the guy, picked for the team, got the job, business success, kids successful, great friends...on and on. Lately it seems cosmic balancing is at work...aka lots of bad luck. Still I feel fortunate for the wonderful life I've lived and continue to live each day. Even as my cancer progresses (I can see change in my eye) my quality of life remains excellent. More than anything I long for calm, quiet space where I can read books and avoid my current "schedule" of responsibilities. Perhaps the safety, certainty and care that comes with hospice is exactly what I need.
Calm hasn't been working lately. Last Friday I raced home from a cabin retreat to meet Brigit in the ER. She had another collapsed lung, was hospitalized, surgery Monday, with hopes she will be released from the hospital on Friday. She is doing well but chest tubes and lung surgery is painful stuff. Routine these days is lots of time back on the 7th floor of University of Minnesota hospital.