What to say. I have cried my tears, and my kids and "team" have gathered around me. We are all sad, but well. We knew this day was coming, we've discussed it many times, and all agree that we were blessed with one full year.
Facing Death. It sounds and feels ominous. My instinct is to pull in, to settle my spirit, and complete the many small projects that I want to leave behind. My energy for social events is diminished by dwindling energy (fevers, sweats and pain are back) and precious little time. I guess I am warning you that I will be less social, less available, less likely to respond to email. This doesn't mean you can't reach out or that I don't care, there is just less...less time...precious less of me. As I progress I may need friends to spend the night / day with me, but once my condition becomes mostly medical (pain, shortness of breath) I will move to Residential Hospice . My wish as I move forward toward transition is sacred silent support, please no noisy meet and greets. Remember that I had a year to connect, once I am bed bound I will ask my team to hold sacred space to support a peaceful passing.
What can you do? Smile and hug your children, lovers and friends. Life is so precious. Don't get angry, controlling or distant, its not worth it. If your heart isn't open are you really alive? Please don't feel sorry for me, we all have to die, I have had an incredible life of heart felt adventure and growth, make sure you do too!
I will continue to blog. I will bring you closer to what I think and feel as I prepare to move into the infinite. When I become infirm my kids will blog updates and my obituary. You are invited to my memorial at First Universalist Church 3400 Dupont Av. S. - date hopefully late summer :-}.