I don't get out much due to disorientation related to my vision (lesion on my retina), lights and movement can be hard to manage. Still, I read books and listen to podcasts to keep me connected to me, and to the infinite you.
I'd like to share something that recently hit me very hard, Not a proud episode, and likely not something everyone in my position would feel. A couple of weeks ago I was so dizzy and disoriented that I had to stay in bed for days. This was the first time I felt completely vulnerable. It wasn't when I heard "cancer" or "death" that broke me open, instead it was then when I couldn't take care of myself, no one in charge, no one tending to symptoms, medication, meals. All Alone. I had caring people around me but they weren't taking charge. How did I react? Dark. Overwhelming anger over caretaker abandonment. Ugly to feel, also deep regret for being too strong and self sufficient, no one knows how to care for me. I understand better how hard it is for so many people to live with vulnerability day to day, I understand where the anger comes from.
This shift in emotion was SO difficult that it became a teaching moment for me. I've started to talk about my care needs, trying to invite others to help me, and I'm meditating more. Back to spirituality as life ballast . Current book - "The Examined Life: How we Lose and Find Ourselves" by Grosz.
ME - I am up and about some, but mostly staying close to home. I'm not willing to attend events, especially in large noisey spaces or with large groups of people. I'm best sitting still, one on one...and lots of the time I need to be in bed.