Colleen McCann
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What Cancer Taught Me

3/6/2014

 

When I was diagnosed in 2004, internally I became focused on two critically important questions, 1) How do I face possible death? and 2) How does this experience become "the best thing that ever happened to me". 

1) I found it difficult to discuss "death" with friends, I always got back things like "you'll beat it", "I'm sending prayers", no one could open the door and go there with me. But I strongly felt that if I didn't know how to die, I couldn't really live. I went to a therapist with the specific goal of talking about death, but she couldn't do it. Finally, I landed in the library of Pathways Center  for Health Crisis. My answer lay in two books, "Heading Toward Omega" and "Health As A Realization of Consciousness". I guess for me, answers frequently come from books. I was also a budding meditator and fascinated with maintaining mindfulness of my true experience. Buddhism and Insight Meditation were very helpful in helping me get closer to the concept of Impermanence in a very different and logical way.

2) The first cancer support group I attended at University of MN Hospital took me a long way. As I listened to woman after woman tell victim and loss stories, some over 10 years cancer free, my immediate thought was "not for me". I had to LIVE this experience as another wonder of LIFE. My cancer experience made me so incredibly sensitive to LIFE all around me, I would weep at simple beauty. I pledged to my self that I would use this experience to forever hold a reverence for LIFE very close to my heart. I promised myself that I would always feel deeply and not get lost in the noisy distractions of our consumer competitive money me-fixated world. Your would have to ask Craig or my friends, but I think I have kept this promise.

Dr. Ruth and Nurse Deb

3/5/2014

 
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I got good medical care?! We lost Deb to cancer just a little while ago...a year? We all miss Deb, she was instrumental in organizing friends to support my recovery. I never went to an appointment, test or chemo session alone. Thank you Deb, and everyone for the open hearts.

We Really Had Fun

3/5/2014

 
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Breast Cancer 2004. MY FRIENDS WERE SO SUPPORTIVE and we really had fun! I do remember getting scolded for laughing too much in the chemo suite. This is a picture from one of my chemotherapy sessions. I don't know where Ruth lifted the lab coat but she looks pretty official. In the picture: Kim, Carol, Lorena, Deb and Ruth.

    Colleen McCann

    I have a good life with wonderful friends and family. This blog is meant to keep me in touch with everyone.

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