I proceed forward with the same vulnerability that is at the core of all humans, and with grace, a sense of gratitude, surrender and faith. My faith feels solid because it includes all creation, I respect that we are intimately connected like cells of the same body, that birth and death are sacraments to be experienced with awe and respect.
Realizing that this is indeed the final chapter, closer and closer to the end of known life, I feel a wobble in my core. It is a bit frightening to witness death coming, like footsteps outside my door, the growing pain, new pressure on my throat, declining vision, daily changes allow no question. I sit in this house alone, but not lonely. The silence is sacred and settling. I cannot distract myself from the ineffable, instead I meditate and read. I stabilize my mind and ponder how to open the door and greet what is next. My concerns: How to greet decline and death with calm and peaceful abiding? How to help those near me to do the same? What will a transition from conscious life be like? My wish is to have a soft landing in the infinite, accepting the many possibilities of what that could mean.
What helps me accept this transition is my growing compassion and connection with others, even those I do not know, and the certainty that the ego “me” is a construction, a temporary vehicle. My image, my belongings, my opinion, my money mean little. What matters, all that matters, is the open heart moments I have shared with others, and decisions and choices made from this place…this is my legacy. I have stepped away from the selfish self-protecting ego enough to make a difference, no human is perfect but I feel content that I have loved enough. Letting go of a world of emotion and connection is difficult, it’s all we know. Now I invite friends and family to discover with me , from a tender and resolved heart, how we say "goodbye".
Brene Brown - The Courage to be Vulnerable
You can find this audio program on onbeing.org